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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 27 Jul 2007, 16:36 
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De Viega's Deity
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Not only that, I also wonder how it is with the lady.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 27 Jul 2007, 16:50 
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Romancing Reardon
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I suppose this is a joke

A rather old fashioned lady, always quite delicate and elegant, especially in her language, was planning a weeks holiday in Sydney with her husband, so she wrote to a particular camping ground and asked for a reservation.

She wanted to make sure that the camping ground was fully equipped, but didn't know quite how to ask about the toilet facilities. She just couldn't bring herself
to write the word "toilet" in her letter.

After much thought, she finally came up with the old fashioned term "Bathroom closet" but when she wrote it down, she still thought she was being too forward, so she started all over again, rewrote the letter, and referred to the bathroom closet as the B.C.

"Does the camping ground have it's own B.C." is what she wrote.

Well, the camping ground owner wasn't a bit old fashioned, and he just couldn't figure out what the old lady was talking about, so he showed the letter around a few of the campers and the only thing they could come up with was that B.C. stood for Baptist Church, so he wrote the following reply.



Dear Madam,

I regret very much the delay in answering your letter, but I now take the pleasure of informing you that a B.C. is located nine miles north of our camping ground, and is capable of seating 250 people at one time.

I admit that it is quite a distance away if you are in the habit of going regularly but no doubt you will be pleased to know that a great number of campers go there and many take their lunches along and make a day of it. They usually arrive nice and early and stay quite late.

The last time my wife and I went was six years ago, and it was so crowded we had to stand up the whole time we were there. It may interest you to know that there is a special supper planned there to raise money to buy more seats so that everyone will be able to sit in comfort.

I would like to say that it pains me very much not to be able to go more regularly, but it is surely no lack of desire on my part, just that I am so busy most of the time.

As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort to go, especially in the cold weather. If you decide to come down to our camping ground perhaps I could go with you the first time you go, sit with you and introduce you to all the other folks.

Remember this is a very friendly community.

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 27 Jul 2007, 17:06 
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De Viega's Deity
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That's a good one.
I have one too, but it is a bit X rated. So sorry for the members who are too young to read this.

Spoiler:
A dumb blond who is 8 months pregnant goes to her GP.
GP: 'How can I help you?'
Dumb Blond: 'I need the pill.' (birth control pill)
GP: 'Don't you think that is a bit too late?'
Dunm Blond: 'No it is not, I need the pill now.'
GP: 'But you are already 8 months pregnant. This pill can't help you anymore.
Dumb Blond: 'You don't understand, I really need the pill.'
GP: 'Than please tell me why.'
Dumb Blond: 'My boyfriend has found my other whole and I don't want to end up with a lump on my back like this one in 8 months.'

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Heidi Breugelmans


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 29 Jul 2007, 21:33 
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nikkibear wrote:
They never did tell you who made the most juice, I wonder who won? lmao. :lol:



hehe that's what i wondered! I bet she lost. I just cry with laughter, its the noieses she makes! "oh thats disgusting" "ouch i cant breathe"

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Sweet.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 30 Jul 2007, 05:48 
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De Viega's Deity
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Kerri wrote:
nikkibear wrote:
They never did tell you who made the most juice, I wonder who won? lmao. :lol:



hehe that's what i wondered! I bet she lost. I just cry with laughter, its the noieses she makes! "oh thats disgusting" "ouch i cant breathe"


Yes, she seems to be a howling dog. Perhaps she is a fan of Manimal and tried to change into a dog?

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Heidi Breugelmans


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 30 Jul 2007, 10:42 
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Breugel wrote:
Kerri wrote:
nikkibear wrote:
They never did tell you who made the most juice, I wonder who won? lmao. :lol:



hehe that's what i wondered! I bet she lost. I just cry with laughter, its the noieses she makes! "oh thats disgusting" "ouch i cant breathe"


Yes, she seems to be a howling dog. Perhaps she is a fan of Manimal and tried to change into a dog?


haha, yeah, sounds more like a dying dog though

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 30 Jul 2007, 11:22 
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Romancing Reardon
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I showed my mates and I was on the floor in a heap with laughing and they were just disturbed at the noises lol! :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 30 Jul 2007, 15:12 
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De Viega's Deity
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Today I received a whole bunch of good new jokes (new for me anyway).
I will try and translate them later. Not all of them can be translated because it is in dialect and you need to tell it like that or the joke is gone.
My English is better than anyone elses :oops: :P :lol: :P :oops: but translating into slang English is not my thing.

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Heidi Breugelmans


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 03 Aug 2007, 16:59 
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De Viega's Deity
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Two dumb blondes are sitting at the bar in a pub.
One of them says: 'I've just been trying to get my drivers license.'
'Really?' said the other. 'How was it?'
'Not good. I did not pass, again. Again I came to that roundabout and there is a sign that says 30. So I drive 30 times round that point.'
'Oops.' said the other 'did you count wrong or what?'

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Heidi Breugelmans


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 03 Aug 2007, 17:04 
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De Viega's Deity
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The Englishmen are about to launch their first rocket.
A reporter asks to an astronaut where the journey will go to.
'Well, we are going to the sun.'
'To the sun?' asks the reporter. 'But it is too hot over there.'
'No, no.' says the English astronaut. 'We are not crazy, we will be travelling at night of course.'

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Heidi Breugelmans


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 10 Aug 2007, 11:38 
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This is less of a joke and more an amusing tale.

This morning the washing machine wouldn't work so I phoned Dad and said I think the fuse must be gone or something, Dad dutifully arrived and had a look, then told me if the door was shut properly the washing machine would work...okay on paper this doesn't sound amusing but I am still laughing about it and it's been at least ten minutes. :lol: :lol:

Kinda reminds me of the time Mum had a tv repair person out because she forgot to plug the arial into the tv :lol: :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 10 Aug 2007, 12:05 
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De Viega's Deity
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Hahaha, that is a good one. I had that also before. I did not phone anyone, I looked myself. It took me about an hour to find out that the door was not shut properly.
So stupid hahaha

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Heidi Breugelmans


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 10 Aug 2007, 13:04 
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Sall wrote:
This is less of a joke and more an amusing tale.

This morning the washing machine wouldn't work so I phoned Dad and said I think the fuse must be gone or something, Dad dutifully arrived and had a look, then told me if the door was shut properly the washing machine would work...okay on paper this doesn't sound amusing but I am still laughing about it and it's been at least ten minutes. :lol: :lol:

Kinda reminds me of the time Mum had a tv repair person out because she forgot to plug the arial into the tv :lol: :lol:



:lol: we had this problem but with the computer ages ago.. we waited like a week for the repair man to come, and just plug it in

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Sweet.


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 10 Aug 2007, 15:15 
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De Viega's Deity
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:lol: this shows how silly persons sometimes can be.

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Heidi Breugelmans


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 Post subject: Re: Jokes
Unread postPosted: 10 Aug 2007, 19:36 
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Romancing Reardon
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My mum last week in the lakes was frantically lookin everywhere for her suglasses, and having a stress saying we had moved them, when she came outside to ask us, they were on top of her head! :lol:

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So much for London, home of the Brash, outrageous and free!


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