SMCFP On This Day: Sleuth (UK Tour)

Filed under: On this Day — Tags: , @


Production: Sleuth (UK Tour)
First Performance: 22 January 2008
Character: Andrew Wyke

Description: This was Simon’s first performance as Andrew Wyke in Sleuth at the Theatre Royal in Windsor.

Quotes: May contain spoilers

  • Oh good!  I pushed it through your letterbox (Re:Milo receiving his invitation)
  • What you mean those ghastly things where the police race around in cars and call all the suspects chummy?
  • I understand you want to marry my wife?
  • Surely you know it’s very rude to make personal remarks
  • Never speak ill of the deadly, eh?
  • Certainly I do.  And so does every right thinking insecure, deceitful man
  • Téa is a Karelian Goddess
  • There are those who believe that cleanliness is next to sexiness
  • Mind you she take a bit of keeping up with, it’s a good thing I’m pretty much of an Olympic sexual athlete
  • I could copulate for England at any distance
  • You mean as soon as you and she are married, Marguerite will joyously exchange Cartiers for the Co-Op?
  • When did she last turn down Bollinger for the blandishments of Baby Cham? Or reject Crepe Suzettes in favour of Roly Poly?
  • Of course it’s criminal.  All good money-making schemes in England have got to be these days
  • Haven’t you read any of my books?
  • Who knows? A dallying couple?  A passing sheep rapist?
  • A face mask, a flat cap, a striped jersey and a bag marked Swag
  • Marguerite romantic? Marguerite couldn’t have got Johann Strauss to waltz
  • Well then, what’s the matter with you?  Where’s your spunk?
  • Or what about this?  Little Bo Peep? (Andrew sings little Bo Peep and dances about holding the dress)
  • Oh, I don’t know.  Trip up – fall on your arse
  • For Christ’s sakes can’t you keep those boots off my Busy Lizzies
  • In hot blood you mean.  I’m going to shoot you down in cold blood anyway
  • She’s mine whether I love her or not. I found her, I’ve kept her.  I am familiar with her.  And once she was in love with me
  • Man cannot live on baked beans alone
  • Sex is the game with marriage the penalty
  • I’m simply saying that in common with most men I want to have my cake and ignore it
  • I put the gun against his head and shot him with a blank cartridge.  He fainted dead away.  It was most gratifying
  • No, He seemed speechless (cue evil chuckle.) He just lurched off
  • You shit. You triple dealing turd.
  • You really had me going there for a moment
  • Puss, Puss, Puss, do you hear a noise Puss
  • I just want someone to play with
  • You might have said good shot
  • Improvise, ducky. Place one foot above the other.  It’s called climbing


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